I once wrote a poem about my insecurities. I wrote that the veins that showed beneath my translucent skin were cracks in my façade, developing as I outgrew my mask. Still attached to my face from long wear and old habit but not at all convincing. The cracks are darker than my skin because I burn underneath this delicate skin. They say that the eyes are windows into your soul and mine showed dark blue and purple bruises for all to see. My complexion bearing my colours well. The contrast between the dark and light of my face and body in combination with the cracks and the bruises make me eerie. Some say spooky. I say good. I say it’s because you can see the coals of my centre burning, eating me alive until there is only a shell left. I am a phoenix. I will rise from my own ashes as I have done many times before. And each time I have grown stronger in the process.
I am a predator with my steady gaze and the ease with which I infiltrate your ranks. To you I may look like a domesticated dog, mild, well mannered, but reveal yourself to be any sort of threat and you will see that even wolves can be well mannered if it suits them. I will seek revenge for the pack-mates of mine who you have harmed.
You are told by the glossy people that your rougher features are imperfections. They will tell you to change them, to hide them. Do not let them force you into this. These parts of you are character. They are the markers of who you are. Do not let them tell you to lose yourself for the sake of someone else’s approval. Instead do with your body as YOU wish. Choose your clothes and your behaviour to please you. The glossy people will drift away and new people who see and like you for who you are will take their place. They may take their time in making themselves known to you. They may look nothing like you or what you expected, but they will come and your life will be richer for it.
Perfection is irrelevant if it is in passing. You will never be everyone’s idea of perfection, but you are most definitely worthy of being loved. Are you getting the love you deserve? If not get out of these toxic relationships in your life as soon and as safely as you can. I have worked hard to find my home and I am still looking. Know that I am looking with you.
do you guys remember that one post about how men feel entitled to take up so much space and women have to deal with a lot less?
This is actually a documented thing. You always see men on the subway or tube or whatever using both armrests while women sit with their arms hunched together into their laps. That’s why I always make a point to take up at least one if not both armrests of the tube so men can be uncomfortable for once.
^ again, for all the people telling me posting this picture is complaining too much.
In my college classes (and high school too) guys were always stretching, sticking fists and elbows in my face, leaning their heads back over my desk, over my work, spreading their legs out, kicking my bag with their dirty shoes. And let’s not pretend they were in other guys’ space as much as they were in women’s.
It’s so true, this happens to me every day on the train. Same with the walking thing, women will weave out of the way whereas men just walk straight and plow down anything in their path. I always end up playing chicken with men on the sidewalk now, because I refuse to move out of their way.
I love playing chicken with dudes who hog the sidewalk. BODY CHECK! Fucking assholes.
“NOT ALL MEN ARE LIKE THIS!” FUCK OFF.
“AS A MAN, I THINK THAT…” FUCK OFF.
Men always have the same defensive bullshit to spout every time they get called out on their shit. AND IT IS BORING. They remind me of those toys where you pull a string an they have like 5 phrases they can say. Over and over and over.
same here with playing chicken, its hilarious sometimes because they get this flash of realization in their eyes that says ‘holy shit, she’s NOT going to move/??? what do????’ because THEY ARE SO USED TO EVERYONE MOVING FOR THEM
when i was younger my grandpa drew this on a piece of paper,
and he asked me how i, as the red circle, would get around the two people (black circles) if i was walking down the street.
so of course i came back with
moving out of the way for them as i walked.
he asked me if i thought men would do the same and, at the time, i did because i thought it was just common courtesy. but he told me that men would barrel straight through without giving a shit and that i should do the exact same. because i was the one walking and they were the ones in the way. so that’s exactly what i do.
i find this really fascinating because this actually what defines so-called masculine and feminine traits and gestures. the whole limp-wrist thing? that’s someone decreasing the amount of space they take up by not extending their arm fully. same with crossing one’s legs, how it’s considered more masculine to swing your shoulders when you walk creating a wider gait instead of your hips, how someone who holds their elbows tightly into their torso instead of letting them fall more loosely at their sides is considered feminine.
taking up space is not just a frequent habit of males in our culture, its actually how society thinks masculinity is supposed to be expressed.
It’s also why you can seriously freak people out if you’re a woman by sitting back in your chair and draping your arm over the backrest of the one beside it.
It’s claiming space, and more importantly, it’s powerful body language. In primates (including humans), the individual that “opens” its chest—that is, leaves it open to attack—is the most dominant of them, precisely because it shows a confidence that no one WILL attack you.
Look at someone who’s comfortable vs someone who’s uncomfortable—the uncomfortable person will inevitably cross their arms or cover their chest to in an instinct to protect the thoracic cavity.
So, when you want to look HELLA confident, open up your chest and make direct eye contact. It feels weird (for women!) at first, but it’s the fastest way to freak a dude out. They genuinely do not know what to do when a woman displays behaviour they recognize as confident.
This was interesting. Literally never thought about it before.
I’ve spent so much time on the bus scooting over into the wall or over into the aisle to the point where I’m sitting half off the seat because the dude sitting next to me has stretched out his legs or arms and I don’t want body contact with a strange dude. I’m pretty non-confrontational by nature so I will scoot over rather than push back, but damned if this whole thing doesn’t make me want to start taking up space in the same way as men always seem to do.
seriously though be a ~feminine woman (whatever the fuck that means and which I apparently am) and adopt these postures and watch men lose their shit
I do this and it’s great. I get read as female but as soon as people see i’m taking up more space they avoid me or watch me the entire ride